"Signing Emo" Song - Artistic Spoof or Hard Reality?
Maybe I'm the last person on earth to hear this song. Certainly I'm the only person alive who doesn't watch mtv. However, I thought I'd post about this just in case there are a couple more of you out there like me who tend to be oblivious to most of the cool videos floating around the internet.
There I was standing on my front porch in the cold air, smoking a cigarette, feeling kind of emo because I had the sniffles today. I was exchanging knowing glances with the skunk who lives in my yard when, with the car radio blairing music in the background when, suddenly: "blah, blah, blah... 'Signing Emo' by MC Lars."
I thought "Excellent. More fodder for House of Emo." So I parked my butt in my car's front seat and finished out the song. The songs lyrics are recorded for you at the end of this post, justin case they're a little unintelligble in the video.
Who Is MC Lars?
First, a little background on the musician. MC Lars is a man after my own heart. He cares nothing for doing things the way they're supposed to be done, prefering to push the boundaries of DIY music while giving major labels the middle finger.
He has creatively melded punk music with rap in a musical style that he aptly terms Post Punk Laptop Rap. MC Lars also sings "iGeneration" and "Hot Topic Is Not Punk Rock", among other original songs in his growing musical portfolio. Click to listen to more of his funky Post Punk Laptop Rap.
The Signing Emo Song
It's actually pretty awesome if you give it credit for what it is. Take a look at this video about the rise and fall of a fictional emo band called "Hearts for Hate." As an artists myself, I can certainly appreciate the band's creative plight. The whole music industry is a sad business because, for all their dreams and rosy aspirations, signed bands are reduced to mere cogs in the economic engines of major labels.
Although a spoof, the fact this song exists represents yet another milestone in the commercialization of emo. And not unlike the kids on House of Emo, the radio stations seem to have a hard time deciding whether emo as a musical genre is alive or dead. Emo radio mentions I've heard run the spectrum from "tired" to "alive and popping", whatever that means.
Really listen to this songs lyrics and then decide for yourself whether the scenario depicted is an accurate representation of the emo genre or just an artistic spoof.
Singing Emo Song Lyrics
Once upon a time, in the city of Los Angeles...
"Marty, Marty listen to me. Bring me something the kids will cry for.
Get out there, and get us stoked!"
Meet Marty, major label A&R scout, forty years old, gut hanging out.
Red Ferrari, Marty livinh in L.A. bumps another line to get through the day.
Dumped by his girl, he paid for her liposuction,
His friends call him "Money", in his introduction.
And Marty knows nothing but claims to know it all,
Lose the flat screen TV if he drops the ball.
You're as good as your last hit, find the next big thing.
If he doesn't bring the bling, his cell phone won't ring.
What's the trend, what's new? What's a label scout to do? Office life, Marty 11:32.
The label pres. calls and yells, "Sign more emo!"
How about screamo? "If it sells, sign Nemo,"
"We're down 2%, and BMG knows,
My Daughter likes Dashboard, so get me one of those!"
He checks AP.net, the Scout and more,
yelling band names to his assistant through the door.
The kids like this, who cares if it's great?
So he signs a band called Hearts that Hate.
"Marty... we've got a hit."
CHORUS
Cry tonight. My hands around your hands.
I won't let you die tonight.
My heart's in your hands.
I won't let you...
Hearts that Hate, Marty goes to their show, up in the club and here we go.
Marty sees a girl in a Simple Plan shirt with a Senses Fail boy, ha that'll never work.
He finds his label friends in the corner they huddle,
An emo cattle auction, they penetrate the bubble.
They talk about Victory and signing TBS,
Dissing the same bands they just tried to impress.
So the lights go down, the crowd starts to scream,
Hearts that Hate have hit the scene.
Blake on vocals, and lead guitar,
He does a backflip, "Look how different we are!"
They show up at the studio to record it,
A TRL, Billboard Modern Rock hit.
They auto-tune Blake, but he can't tell.
He says, "I've got perfect pitch, damn I sing well."
ProTools, Logic, cut, copy, paste, quantized solos and quantized bass.
Signed, sealed, deliver and sent, across the U.S. and the single went...
REPEAT CHORUS
Momentum builds, but it all caves in.
Industrial comes back, the pres. needs a NIN.
Marty finds a new band called "Fetal Coil"
And Hearts that Hate try to keep their fans loyal.
They re-work their sound for album number two,
As "Machines of Hate," but their career is through.
They break up and work pushing mops and brooms,
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room,
Blake gives guitar lessons in his living room.
"Can you teach me track five Mr. Blake?"
"Hey, I wrote that song and it goes like this!"
REPEAT CHORUS
How much money do bands make anyway? The truth might surprise you. Find out later this week when I upload a revealing expose of the entire music industry, written by one of it's inside men.
Merely Human
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Reader Comments (21)
People in general need to focus more on making something good and then developing it through the natural progression of time + fame = classic...
30-40 years later, we all still know who The Beatles, Rollings Stones, Elvis, Jimi Hendrix, are etc... 30-40 years from now no one is even going to have heard of most of today's bands.
Catchy, yet so true.
MC Lars is strangely amazing.
I'm gonna watch this guy.