The Cryin' Truth About Emo Boys
An epidemic has struck the heterosexual American male population. While by no means fatal, it is highly contagious, easily caught and nearly impossible to cure. Symptoms are loneliness, confusion, and a general sense of self-pity. If not caught and stopped in its early stages, irreparable damage may occur.
And no, it's not just emo boys...
It's the shrinking testicle size of an entire generation of boys we're raising.
Regardless of scene, the proverbial Knight in Shining Armor and Prince Charming are seemingly dead concepts to society nowadays. Men just aren't made the way they used to be. Society has raised a generation of frightened mama's boys that have apparently forgotten what it means to be a man, to take initiative.
Possibly the most overused complaint I hear about the opposite sex is how "nice guys finish last." Whenever I hear this ridiculous claim, I can't help but want to scream...
"Ever stop to think why nice guys finish last?!"
Of course not. The answer is clear right? We, as females, all talk about wanting nice guys, but in reality we always only go for assholes that treat their dogs better than their girlfriends. Yes, that must be it.
It couldn't possibly be because the majority of quality men nowadays are too frightened to even dare to approach a female, especially an attractive, confident and successful one. It couldn't possibly be because the only guys who have the sand to approach a beautiful woman are the controlling jerks who just want to win the trophy.
You know the type?
...The one who pulls up beside a women walking back to her car in a parking lot and yells some obscene cat-call... The one that truly tries to use those atrocious pick-up lines people post on chain letters all over the internet to make others laugh... Lines so horrifying you hope for the sake of the human race that no person, male or female, was ever dim-witted enough to actually believe that line would work...
Yep, you sure figured us out. Those are just the kind of men we want to be with.
So as a man, you argue,"The man shouldn't have to do all the work. What's wrong with the woman approaching a man?"
Well, let me tell you what's wrong. Our society has placed certain stereotypes on a woman who approaches a man. Because we believe that quality women should never have to make the first move. Because quality women should get snatched up quickly, and therefore are never single long enough to find. If a woman approaches a man, there must be something wrong with her.
Why else would an attractive female have to make the first move?
Is she that desperate? Or perhaps just easy? Why is she single anyways? There must be something terribly wrong with her to drive her to approach a man. The possibility of questionable sanity arises. And by talking to her, you may just drive her into a psychotic fit.
What you fail to realize, however, is that NOT talking to her, or giving her the time of day, is the surest way to drive a women to psychosis. By showing her she's just not worth an evening, an hour, or even five minutes the timid little emo boy gets the best of both of you.
Men bitch about how women have such low self-esteem.
How it that even extraordinarily beautiful women can complain so much bout not being good enough?
As little girls, we are read fairytales and shown movies which portray men as knights, battling monsters and conquering innumerable hardships just to reach the woman they love. We are encouraged to be confident that one day we, too, will be rescued by a brave prince on a white horse, and after being swept off our feet, will gallop off into the sunset to live happily ever after.
Unfortunately, once we come of age to enter the real world, we see that there are no princes or brave knights. Just lots of emo boys.
All around us are scared little boys: boys with no social skills, boys who run at the first sight of an attractive woman, boys with no charm or direction or motivation. Boys that would rather sit around and complain about how they can't seem to find a good woman who prefers good boys to assholes. Boys who cry when they've had their heart broken by a girl who doesn't want a boy who cries more than she does.
She wants a man who doesn't need his hand held all the time. A man who knows what he wants and has the confidence to go after it. A man who is willing to fight a little to win over a girl's heart. A man who doesn't need to be with her, but wants to be.
And so what do we poor girls do?
We wait. And wait. And hope. And every once in a while, one of those "old-fashioned" men comes along on his steed and shows us that not all males are a lost cause. That we shouldn't give up hope yet, because while chivalry may be comatose, it is not completely dead. And perhaps someday these timid little emo boys will grow into men and realize that winning over a woman is not as difficult as they make it for themselves.
You don't have to drive an overpriced foreign car or live in a castle or have the body of a Calvin Klien model. You just have to have the courage to open your mouth and say hello.
Karma Police
213 Comments
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Reader Comments (213)
She likes the jerk. I'm there for her. I made the first move. I even goddamn kissed her. And look.
I'm still here. Right where I started. I'm nowhere.
emo boys cum find me hehe && ill look after u all =D
love yooo xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
HELLO!!!
its not our fault girls have gotten more stuck-up and think they are too good for the emo-boy... its not that we just don't want to try, its that everytime we do try we get shut out...
how do you even know what its like to be an emo-boy anyways...
If i got hi on by one of you guys i would jump at the chance...
Why dont you guys live down here?
Peace out-
xx
omg.
lately ..
myspace / emo has been featured in the daily mail (a british newspaper.)
they said parents, watch out for a the new cult hahahaha...
although could it be that I want them so much that they get scared of me. Please someone help me with this...I really need help.
any emo boy can have me if he asks. =]
and jelous people become christians
xx-x-x